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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 17.06.2025 02:36

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By taking turns talking.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

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By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”